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As a pun-isher, I love a full-grown pun (a pun that elicits a full groan). Here are some of the puns I've made up in English — those I remembered to write down here.

Why is the English common law so concerned with property rights? Because the English gentry insisted on proper tea rites every afternoon.

Does an Anarchist man have an antistate gland instead of a prostate gland?

A pair of travelling exhibits on theory of computation was known as the Turing Circus.

At dinner at a Japanese restaurant, the person next to me said she wanted to work with abused children. Since we had not yet received the tempura, I responded, "If battered shrimps are your interest, we should have some here soon."

So who is mayor of New York in the daytime? (I've used that against Wagner, Koch, and Giuliani and others.)

How the natives of the north got their name

When Europeans first visited the northern part of North America, they did not know how to survive there. The natives did. So they gave the Europeans advice:

But the Europeans had no respect for the natives, and ignored this wise advice. So they kept on wearing insufficient clothing, teasing bears, and travelling with too few dogs. Sometimes they died, and the natives told each other, "I knew it."

Eventually they became known as the Inuit.

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